The beginnings of our text conversation…
Him: Hey it is I. Your phone. Perhaps it is me your phone? Semantics don’t matter. What matters is that it is hot in your pocket. Please let me out!
Him: Maybe that should be syntax.
Me: I like it. Lol
Him: Taking your advice and trying texting first. Not getting any odd vibes thus far which is good. Hurray for safety most fundamental human need and it is being fulfilled.
Me: yay safety fulfilled. Sorry… I’ve learned to try safety first….
(He had wanted to get together first and I suggested texting before meeting to ensure neither of us were axe murderers…)
Me: How is your weekend?
Him: is as in presently of how has it been? I just enjoyed a dark roast coffee,MIT was delicious and I guess even that is in the past already. Went to a BBQ today and had a few too many…sausages…one too many sausages to be exact. I should have stopped at one. I saw Eminem in Detroit last night! Seeing linkin park tomorrow, you?
Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… Wait you meant sausages as I’m beers, right????? Or at least the edible sausages… Wait, that can go wrong too… Er… I mean… Unless you are into that! And there is nothing wrong with that!
Him: Yes I meant sausage. Yes the edible sausage not a euphemism for penis in this case.
Him: Sausage over the fire. Very delicious! I’m giving you home work before bed
Him: Goodnight goodnight parting is such a sweet sorrow. I bid thee goodnight til it be morrow. What play and what scene? Good luck!
Me: Well I guess that’s one way to eat a sausage! But alas… If you must leave me until the morrow…I shall clamour on until the morrow. Parting is such sweet sorrow… But really… I like poetry and all… But I’d rather you just talk dirty to me.
Him: just brushed my teeth… But that is clean… Get on your hands and knees and tell me all about the dirty things you do when you pleasure yourself.
Me: lol actually when I pleasure myself I usually end up on my back… It’s only when I’m pleasuring someone else that I’m on my hands and knees…
Him: Anatomically that makes sense. Are you flexible? Can you spread wide?
Him: do you prefer it slow or rough? Does it depend on your mood?
Me: I guess you’ll have to buy me dinner and find out.
At this point we went into trying to figure out when our schedules would match up. Sixth date here is a nurse. He tends to work long, obnoxious shifts which made it a little difficult to pin down a time. I actually thought that he would end up being my first date, we had been talking from the beginning, we just couldn’t seem to find a time that worked.
But finally come day six, we made it work and I found myself headed out for a day time date..